I’m going to update this once a week to see if I can get a couple of ideas across. I’m going to keep going, expressing the ideas in as many ways as I can think of, until at least one person shows that they have understood what I mean. I’m not quite sure how this will happen.
This is also a gentle reminder that I’m looking for a job, something permanent, or at least long-term, reasonably well paid, interesting, requiring intelligence, focus and the capacity to solve big problems, that I will work hard at, putting in long hours of focus, whether travelling or work from home, prepared to meet people from all and any background, or work alone. I can then practice and teach yoga without the need to ‘monetarise’ the process, which will be liberating. Work can involve all or any of my following skills: facilitating or chairing meetings, event management, programme management, proofreading, editing, critical analysis, qualitative data collection, report-writing, research, reviewing literature, meeting and greeting, mindfulness research, practice and/or training, communications teaching, listening for a change.
I’m also (in no particular order) reasonably adept at shooting, sailing, ski instructing, cooking, English language teaching, relationships, travelling and living with minimal infrastructure, outdoor pursuits, gardening, painting, pottery, drawing, interior design, dancing, singing, writing (fiction or non-fiction), and wood-carving.
I’m willing to learn most other skills, but I would be really grateful for help with the formal requirements for accounting, budgeting, managing money, goods, and services, (I’d also be interested in lessons in baking, cocktail preparation, sewing, and the art of war).
Let me know if you think I might suit your needs.
When someone comes to me at the end of a yoga class and says ‘I feel wonderful! So open! So blissed out! So loose and alive!’ my instinct is to be glad. However, I am also inclined to sound a note of caution. The wonderful euphoria you feel when you are open is also the state in which you expose all your vulnerabilities, your sensitivity. Whatever happens to you in this state can be deeply resonant, and you can learn a great deal from your experience. In a sense, it is as though you are holding your arms open to the universe and saying, ‘teach me!’
Obviously, opening yourself to the current stream of activity can expose you to intense experiences that you might otherwise be able to ignore, or simply not notice. Intense experience is another way of understanding pain. You need to be responsible, in every sense, for yourself in this state. No need to close up; learning to stay this open, this receptive, is entirely healthy and will enrich your experience at every level. Just make every effort to stay entirely focused on the state you are in, on what is going on, including staying aware of your breath, the shape you’re in (your posture, for instance) and even your attitude. Watch the way the state changes, even as you observe it, like light moving on water. Expect the unexpected and keep a compassionate outlook, even if you land with a crash. You will find your resilience deepens with practice. You will be clearer, more honest, and your empathy will broaden every time. This is the skill of wisdom in action: to watch, but not to make judgment; to feel, but without clinging to what is felt.