i got the iT blues…

Well, eventually, after six hours at a desk, I went for a walk and did some yoga on the beach. Stunning day: sun and almost no wind after weeks of rain and gales. So, when I came home, I did some gardening. But most of the time, I attempted to restore technologies that are out of my ken. First, I tried to restore my iPhone. That is an ongoing project, and illustrates, to me, the push towards consumerism that is insidious. It’s extremely difficult to restore an iphone that has been inadvertently upgraded, while jailbroken and unlocked. I’ve done it a few times before but this time it’s really proving resistant. Anyone who’s done this kind of thing before will know what I mean.
What all this has meant is that I didn’t manage to work on my thesis today, and nor did I do as long a yoga practice as I would have liked. Although this is all yoga, really: the whole thing about yoga is that you learn that everything is a test to see how successfully experiences are being integrated. I taught a yoga class last night and made a real point of telling the class that, even though it was much cooler in the room than was comfortable, this is what we have to work with. This is the way things are. Of course, we do what we can – move, use heaters – but ultimately we have to find a way of accepting things, of seeing what effort is needed, just in this moment, and seeing what can be released.
The next thing that happened was that I got an unexpected bill. That’s a challenge at the best of times, but when you’re working hard to create work for yourself, it really feels like the Wolf’s breath on the back of the neck. However, I dealt with it: made a phonecall. Found a way of making sure it is going to be resolved, however much it takes.
So, I did some cleaning and tidied the house and then found an old blog and wanted to coordinate it with this one. I’ll see if I can copy some of the stuff from there to here. Old stories. Much angrier. But still some good stuff that’s worth hauling over here.
While by the sea, the camera stopped working, just as I was taking pics of a small beaked whale there. Never mind! I will see if I can upload the pic I did manage to take later. As things stand, there is nothing more to do than watch as the ebb and flow of life lifts and tosses us about. The more freely we can allow the experience to just happen, and our reactions to just happen, without needing to act out all the anger and disappointment and frustration of the past, without clinging, in other words, the more freely we will respond to the experience, and the more easily we will move on, to the next, and the next, reducing suffering, lightening up.

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About Gamanrad

Therapeutic practitioner working on realisation as response to the ecological emergency (and all else besides).
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