Quick Update

Ogham Stone?Binghamstown

Ogham Stone?

Just want to let any potential readers know that I will work on this again tomorrow or this evening, but I have another site, gamanrad, on which I will upload bits of my thesis.

Here, I’m also going to upload sections of a short novel I’ve been writing. Here’s an extract:

The really odd thing is this: I can imagine just how the dog felt. My self in utter misery, in a dog. Myself transported, transmogrified, transfixed by the strange and twisted needs and attachments of the human body that will not allow itself to open into possibilities but always has to wander around until the shape has changed again.

This story is about changing shape. There is nothing it can say about stasis. It is all about dynamic process. And it belongs not to me but to my findings. I am just a magpie, wagtail, raven, jackdaw, pied crow collecting other people’s trinkets. I hope I will become wonderful but I fear I can only imitate intimacy with words.

What I would really like to do is what everyone does who becomes rich and famous: buy love. I yearn for human touch. I long for it. But it is forever banned to me because I have abused the possibility with my stratagems and semantics and semiotics and spilled blood and weird wanton willingness to overburden the possibility with facts. We are only as good as the ones we imitate and my examples all had feet of clay. I so want to lead the world to perfection but there is nothing I can do about the way things are except accept them.

I leave the door open while I meditate these days and a young rabbit hops into the warmth of the room as we wittle away the time until the two of us die. I can see the raven at the door. I adore it. There is no better bird. The rabbit, however, is terrified and seeks as swift as light an exit but there is no room for him between the shadow of the crow’s wings and the sky and so he makes for the fire and flight forces him to shove himself into the hole below my seat which is the stoking chute. I cry out, but he screams and is dead. Now there’s nothing to do but wait.

I wish a woman would come out of the sea like they did in the old days and greet me thankfully and smile at her own nakedness and see me as a charmless hermit, harmless, and watch the raven and allow it to stroke her with its bleached beak. Wow.

Tragedy is a trajectory that throws us forwards like a spear into the heart of a fate we cannot yet imagine how to tolerate. Then of course there is the element of transformation that is a death but also a liberation. And yet death, for the living, is just an end. A boundaried margin around which we wander, encircling ourselves in it for identity and meaning which, as soon as found, is forgotten.


About Gamanrad

Therapeutic practitioner working on realisation as response to the ecological emergency (and all else besides).
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4 Responses to Quick Update

  1. I have always admired, even envied, the way Irish people could handle words beautifully. I can never acquire the level of creative writing as yours (a big reason why I need graphics to supplement my work). I have no ideas why you liked my blog, but I am honored. Had you contacted me a day earlier, you would have been on my seven recommendation list.

  2. Thank you for liking my blog again. It just so happens that one of the nominee, an Italian man mistook the nomination as some paying organization that he just had to decline. I don’t speak enough Italian to convince him that it would not cost him anything.

    I said in my last comment, you would have beaten him to it had I known you at the time of nomination anyway. I hope you will be happy that I have deleted his blog and nominated you for The Beautiful Blogger Award. You can check the change I made in the post:

    The rules that come with the award are:
    1. Post the award on your page.
    2. Link back the person who nominated you.
    3. Tell seven facts about yourself.
    4. Nominate seven bloggers and let them know they have been nominated.

  3. I am sorry that I seem to have offended you. The reason I had deduced the man was from Italy was because he had responded to my post in Italian. Therefore I assumed he had not been familiar with blogging award thing which must have originated in US, but thought not to embarrass him by bringing the money up (just in case that was case). Also I had so wanted to recommend your blog, I acted hasty. Please, be reassured that I have deleted your blog from my list of nomination. I agree with you that I have a long way to go.

    • gamanrad says:

      I don’t understand this, Mirror. You may have misinterpreted something I said. I said I was flattered that you had nominated me and I have passed on the award in the best way I can. I have a long way to go myself, but perhaps less time than you! Many thanks again for the kind nomination. You have done nothing to offend me, rest assured. I am quite sure that this is a misunderstanding. Please reread my blog. Blessings and Peace to you.

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